Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?
(via rimjobssible)
punks not dead
Heosemys spinosa is an endangered species.
punks almost dead
(Source: sinyasiki, via wimpynoodle)
my milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard and they’re like “how much?” and im like “3.75”. I am a milkshake vendor
(via lol-thatwasfunny)
In Spanish, we don’t really say “I love you” we say “traeme una cerveza” which roughly translates to “you are the light of my soul” & I think that’s beautiful.
can someone explain the joke
how to spot a gringa in 2 seconds
(via gayfather)
fifty shades (thats it. thats the whole joke. im wearing 50 pairs of sunglasses right now this is comedy gold people)
“ya but how many chainz” i holler from the back of the crowd. suddenly its my show and your girlfriend is on my arm now. shes also a man and your gay
(Source: falcnpunch, via mensrightsactivist)
Me trying to figure out mathematical equations
(via 4chanofficial)
(Source: primordials, via sighgrrrl)
school just doesnt fit in with my heavy rock n roll lifestyle
(via bitchbot)
[video]
*policeman voice* alright sir im going to have to ask you a few questions. *pulls out notepad* where did you come from? where did you go? *slams fists on interrogation table* where DID you come from cotton eyed joe?
(via will--i--graham)
a lot actually thanks school
(via fuckyeahloldemort)
whenever i use only one exclamation point i feel like a middle-aged dad who just discovered the internet!
(via fuckyeahloldemort)
things im tired of seeing on my dash:
- white girl jokes
- romanticized self harm
- people being dicks to nice people
- people beING HARASSED FOR MAKING A SMALL MISTAKE
(via banananaise)