Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?
punks not dead
Heosemys spinosa is an endangered species.
punks almost dead
(Source: sinyasiki, via wimpynoodle)
my milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard and they’re like “how much?” and im like “3.75”. I am a milkshake vendor
In Spanish, we don’t really say “I love you” we say “traeme una cerveza” which roughly translates to “you are the light of my soul” & I think that’s beautiful.
can someone explain the joke
how to spot a gringa in 2 seconds
fifty shades (thats it. thats the whole joke. im wearing 50 pairs of sunglasses right now this is comedy gold people)
“ya but how many chainz” i holler from the back of the crowd. suddenly its my show and your girlfriend is on my arm now. shes also a man and your gay
(Source: falcnpunch, via mensrightsactivist)
Me trying to figure out mathematical equations
(Source: primordials, via sighgrrrl)
school just doesnt fit in with my heavy rock n roll lifestyle
*policeman voice* alright sir im going to have to ask you a few questions. *pulls out notepad* where did you come from? where did you go? *slams fists on interrogation table* where DID you come from cotton eyed joe?
a lot actually thanks school
whenever i use only one exclamation point i feel like a middle-aged dad who just discovered the internet!
things im tired of seeing on my dash:
- white girl jokes
- romanticized self harm
- people being dicks to nice people
- people beING HARASSED FOR MAKING A SMALL MISTAKE