Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?
my milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard and they’re like “how much?” and im like “3.75”. I am a milkshake vendor
school just doesnt fit in with my heavy rock n roll lifestyle
*policeman voice* alright sir im going to have to ask you a few questions. *pulls out notepad* where did you come from? where did you go? *slams fists on interrogation table* where DID you come from cotton eyed joe?
whenever i use only one exclamation point i feel like a middle-aged dad who just discovered the internet!
- person: you're blocking the view
- me: i am the view
things im tired of seeing on my dash:
- white girl jokes
- romanticized self harm
- people being dicks to nice people
- people beING HARASSED FOR MAKING A SMALL MISTAKE
if u smash snails on purpose ur a fuckin piece of shit they are tiny cuties trying 2 get somewhere as fast as they can pls help them out